Not A Good Day At All
by Sharingan-Youkai
Summary: It honestly wasn't one of Sephiroth's best days, oh no, it was as if the Goddess herself was taking amusement in making his life hell...But there was one upside to a bad day... SLASH now with no lemon -sniff- its been moved, sorry! Now rated T for language and a little character bashing.


**A/N Just a little randomness I cooked up on boredom. Hope you like my random little oneshot!**

**I do not own Final Fantasy 7! 'Cuz, you know, Square Enix does...**

**Summary: It honestly wasn't one of Sephiroth's best days, oh no, it was as if the goddess herself was taking amusement in making his life hell...But there was one upside to a bad day...**

**Warnings: **_Humor, Sephiroth bashing, well, not bashing per se, but luck just ain't on his side today XD Swearing, a little bit of puppy fun, and Yaoi smut._

_This fic was BETA'd by the lovely and awesome Misaki! ENJOY!_

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Sephiroth glared death at the innocent machine in front of him; finger's itching to run Masamune through the flimsy plastic that made its cover.

**"Access denied." **Blinked on the screen in bold lettering, the electronic voice of a female repeating the same sentence every time he tried to type in his passcode. It was very, oh so very annoying, and it was chipping away at his legendary self-control piece by piece. He inhaled deeply through his mouth, and then exhaled through his nose. He twitched his fingers, and then slowly, so not as to make any mistakes, typed in his passcode, the very same one he had been using not three hours before.

**"Access denied." **His brow twitched violently. He typed it in again.

**"Access denied. Further incorrect entries will be forwarded to ShinRa Security." **His fingers paused above the keys at that, and twitched in the air. He visibly collected himself, then typed in the override code that Lazard had given him in case of something like this happening. The screen blinked then; **"Access denied, you have been locked from the system, security is on the way. Have a nice day." **His brow twitched again as the computer shut itself down. His breath hissed through his teeth. Two weeks' worth of finished reports. Two _weeks' worth _of work...

Gone...

The computer made an odd squealing noise as Masamune cut right through it, sparks flying as the cooling fans sputtered to a halt before a steady plume of smoke drifted into the air. Sephiroth glared smugly at the dead machine, Masamune clutched in his hand as his breathing came in short, angry pants. "Serves you right, useless piece of ShinRa machinery!" Then the fire sprinklers in his office turned on due to the smoking computer and soaked him and everything else in his office. He twitched, blowing a sopping piece of silver hair from his face as the door opened to reveal security and fire maintenance. They all took one look at the General, then slowly backed out of the doorway, before fleeing in terror.

**~1 hour later in 1st Class Zackary Fair's Office~**

"Whoa Seph, your looking awfully like a drowned cat...what the hell happened?" asked Zack as he eyed the soggy General as he stalked through his door, Masamune clenched in his hand as his boots made odd squishy noises with every step. He watched his silver haired friend sit himself in one of the soft leather chairs in front of his desk, and wondered briefly if the leather they were made from was water proof. Sephiroth breathed deeply for a moment, fingers working his temples.

"First, my passcode was blocked from the system, second, my computer died a long overdue death and third...my sprinklers went off." He said sourly. Zack blinked at his friend from his kicked back position behind his desk, feet propped on the glass surface.

"Wow, sheesh, seems like you're having an off day." He stated. Sephiroth leaned back in the chair, his wet leather coat squeaking as it stretched.

"You have no idea." he said as he rubbed a gloved hand over his eyes. Zack blinked, and then hid a grin behind his hand. Poor Seph, he really did look like a drowned kitty cat.

"So, apart from tracking water through my office and ruining a perfectly good chair, what did you come here for? Shouldn't you be going home to dry off and change?" He asked. Sephiroth suddenly snorted.

"I lost my key card, and the code pad malfunctioned. I'm locked out of my own home." He said, his voice wavering dangerously close to a whine. But he was the General, and General's didn't whine, so silly thought! Zack blinked slowly.

"Then why not ask Cloud for his, he has a key card too right?" Of course he did, the blond lived with the General! Sephiroth sighed.

"He's on patrol somewhere in the slums; no one seems to know exactly _where_." He snapped. Zack blinked.

"Did you try calling him?" He asked slowly, as if talking to a slow child. Sephiroth gave him a dirty look, and he grinned.

"Yes, his PHS is dead. I told him to recharge it last night, but does he listen? No." The General huffed as he folded his arms. Zack opened his mouth, paused, and then closed it again. Best not to comment.

"Well, I 'spose you can use my apartment to get cleaned up, I know for a fact that at least two changes of your clothes are in the cupboard somewhere." He said. Sephiroth stared at him incredulously.

"And just how the hell did _my clothes_ get into _your apartment_?" he asked. Zack shrugged.

"No idea, I think it might have been from that time Reno goaded us all into playing strip poker. I got some of Cloud's there too...Hey hey hey! Don't give me that look; I'm a happily engaged man!" He sputtered as he waved his hands in defense to the look Sephiroth sent him at hearing he had Cloud's clothes. It promised a very painful death, for sure... Sephiroth gave one last glare for good measure, and then sighed.

"Fine, give me your key." he demanded, the feel of wearing wet boots was simply put, not pleasant. Zack rolled his eyes and reached into his back pocket, pulling out a slim white keycard. He handed it to his friend and waved as he squished his way out the door.

**~After getting changed and leaving Zack's apartment~ **

Sephiroth made his way to the mess hall, while he normally preferred to get his own food from reliable stores; he was too hungry to bother with the travel. Besides, it was the only day of the week when the SOLDIER mess hall didn't have 'mystery meat' or 'mystery vegies' on the menu. It was a Thursday, which meant pasta and salad day, which had been brought in after many of the SOLDIER's complained about the gag worthy goop they called food. He refused to admit that his own signature may have been on the petition...

He rolled his eyes and continued into the mess hall, clad in a casual pair of jeans and a long sleeved black turtle neck. They happened to be the clothes he'd been wearing when they had played that horrible game of strip poker. Although, it hadn't been all bad, because Cloud happened to have a horrible poker face, so naturally he got himself a lap full of half-naked blond. He smirked at the memory. His boots had been replaced with a pair of black trainers and his hair tied back at the nape of his neck, still damp. He passed through the large doors that led into the SOLDIER half of the mess hall ignoring the awed and lust filled gazes of the lower ranking SOLDIER's. He didn't normally eat here, so it was different to see him there, especially in casual wear. He was about to move over to greet Angeal, who was seated at his usual table with Genesis when the sound of rubber sliding against tiles reached his keen hearing. He didn't know what had happened; only that he hadn't been able to move in time to avoid it. The mess hall fell as silent as the grave as Sephiroth's closed eyes twitched. He felt something wet slide down his cheek, the smell of pasta filling his nose. He slowly opened slitted emerald eyes, looking down at the shocked and horrified face of a rookie Third Class sprawled on the floor off to his side, a scattered tray of food half on him, and half on the General. He twitched as a gloved hand rose to wipe the pasta from his face, flicking it off without a word. The hall was still silent. His eyes were half hooded as he leveled a steady look on the rookie Third, who looked about ready to wet himself.

"S-shit...G-general S-S-Sephiroth, Si-sir! I-I-I-" Someone in the hall snickered and Sephiroth's fingers twitched, the motion noticed by everyone in the hall. Why, had he left Masamune with Zack? He sighed.

"Please explain to me, SOLDIER, what you were doing." He asked icily. The SOLDIER Third gulped loud enough for the hall to hear.

"I-I-I...I was er...I was r-running s-sir. You-you see I was trying to get a-away from..." The poor fellow trailed off as his gulped again, but motioned with a shaking finger to the group of three standing a few meters back from him. Sephiroth arched a brow. So, the boy was being chased? Why the hell hadn't he been paying attention? He was the General for Shiva's sake! That could have very well been his own blood splattered across his face, not pasta! He inwardly scolded himself and outwardly sighed. He pointed at the three Thirds that had been chasing the younger one.

"You three are to report to Lazard's office to be demoted. Behavior such as this is unacceptable in public, _let alone SOLDIER!" _He hissed dangerously. He noticed a wet patch forming on one the boys pant front and sneered. "Well?" he asked. "Move it!" He roared. The three were tripping over themselves to get away from him in seconds, vanishing out the door. He snorted and looked down to the horrified Third. He held out a hand. The Third, stared at it for a moment, before hesitantly gripping it to be pulled to his feet. "Go clean yourself up SOLDIER." He paused and looked down at himself, then sighed. "And so will I...again." he muttered as he turned on his heel and left the silent hall. Good thing Zack had said _two _changed of clothes...

He could hear Genesis snickering uncontrollably as he left...

**~After cleaning up...again~**

Now clad in a pair of leather pants, much like his uniform ones and a long sleeved emerald green button up Sephiroth made his way to Lazard's office to ensure the demotion of the three Third class morons. He entered the elevator and pressed the button to Lazard's office floor. He waited as the lift ascended, but jumped when a red light suddenly flashed above his head and the lift shuddered to a halt. He blinked and looked at the floor number. Caught between floor 25 and 26. He scowled and hit the button again. Nothing happened, the red light kept flashing. He growled and yanked open the control box, where a phone was kept. He dialed maintenance.

_"ShinRa maintenance, what seems to be the problem?" _Came the drawling answer. He glared at the phone, and then said.

"This is General Sephiroth, I am currently trapped in a damned elevator, come fix it!" he hissed. There was a sudden bang and several curses on the other end before the voice came back, stronger and more 'polite' then before.

_"General Sephiroth sir! I must ask what elevator are you in sir?" _Sephiroth glanced at the number printer on the side wall.

"Elevator 4." he said. There was more shuffling on the other line.

_"Oh, yes there seems to be a problem with the cables. Holy-" _There was more cursing on the other line as the one he was talking to shouted at several others. _"This was supposed to be fixed two days ago! - ...- Why the hell are the cables still tangled! - ...Someone could be killed!" _Sephiroth rubbed the bridge of his nose. Great, now he was in danger of physical harm...from an _elevator_. He didn't fancy going splat because some idiot forgot to untangle some cables. He told the idiot as much. _"I'm sorry General Sir! There's a team on the way right now! Just try not to jostle the elevator or the cables might give." _Sephiroth twitched.

"That fills me with confidence." He said. The other guy paused.

_"Oh, right, sorry sir...Just hang tight!" _Beeeep. Sephiroth growled.

"Hang tight? I'm not going anywhere am I!" he shouted into the disconnected phone. He slammed the receiver back into the box and shut it with a huff. "Oh, this day just cannot get any worse!" He hissed. The elevator shuddered. His brow twitched. "I hope you die, Murphy."* The lift lurched, then the floor dropped out from under him and he hit the ceiling as the elevator fell. "Shit!" He shouted as he tried to right himself on the ceiling. He yelped as the elevator suddenly stopped and he smacked into the floor with a resounding 'thunk'. He groaned. "Oh thank heaven for Mako enhancements." he groaned again as he rubbed his head. Then, the door opened with a ping, revealing a shocked Zack Fair. Zack blinked at the sprawled form of General Sephiroth on the elevator floor.

"Uh...Seph? What are you doing on the floor?" He asked as several maintenance workers barreled down the stairs next to the lift, all out of breath and wearing emergency gear. Sephioth lifted his head from the floor and glared at the workers.

"Perfect timing, gentlemen." Then dropped his head back on the floor.

**Two hours later, in Angeal Hewely's Office~**

Angeal eyed his friend in sympathy as he handed him an icepack, which the General took with a nod and held it to his forehead, which was an amusing shade of red from connecting with the metal floor of the lift. "You're really having a bad today, aren't you Sephiroth? First the mess hall, and now this?" He asked as he sat back in his chair. Sephiroth snorted.

"There was more before the mess hall." he said sourly as he shifted the icepack, the red was fading, but it was still sore. Angeal smirked.

"One would think lady luck has it out for you then." He said with an amused glint in his eye. Sephiroth snorted.

"Oh, I don't doubt it." he said. The silver elite leaned back in his chair and sighed.

"I hope that's the last of it." he said. Angeal winced.

"Oh, bad move, you just jinxed yourself Seph." he said. Sephiroth groaned and threw the icepack at him.

"Shut up, just, shut up." He said as he leaned forward and rubbed his face in his hands. "How much longer will this day last?" he asked no one in particular. He just wanted to go home, drag Cloud into the shower and ravage him until his annoyance of the day went away. Angeal watched in amusement.

"Five more hours in the work day left old friend. Hang in there." He said. Sephiroth scrubbed a hand through his long silver mane.

"Well, I might as well head to Lazard's." he scowled. "And I'll be taking the stairs." He said as he stalked out of the room, silver hair drifting behind him as he went. Angeal snorted, then chuckled.

Poor Sephiroth, he was doomed.

**~Lazard's Office~**

Sephiroth nodded. "I did send them here for demotion." he said. Lazard nodded and typed something down on his computer.

"Then it's done. I trust your judgment General. Now, about that incident this morning, with your passcode?" he asked. Sephiroth sighed, eyes glancing to the heavens for a moment.

"It refused to work. I typed it in correctly, I even double checked it, the code I used was correct, it still didn't work. So I tried the override code you gave me. It locked me out of the system and called security." he said. Lazard adjusted his glasses with a white gloved hand in thought.

"Hmm, I'll have that looked into for you. With you locked out of the system you won't be able to do much office work. There's a mission here that you could do to pass the time?" He asked. Sephiroth thought it over quickly, and then nodded.

"Send me the details then." he said as he bowed, then left the office with a swish of silver. Lazard clicked a few keys on the computer and smiled.

"I'll have to order a new desktop for him as well...maybe a newer version might last longer..."

**~Midgar, Loveless Avenue~**

Sephiroth exited the alley where he'd chased a stray monster, Masamune glinting with its blood as he pulled out a rag to clean it. He inspected the blade with a critical eye, then nodded and sheathed it at his side. He rested a hand on its hilt and began his way back to ShinRa Tower. As he passed by the bar and many other stores in Loveless Avenue he kept his guard up, eyes alert for any possible threats. He was in the city, sure, but there were still spies and monsters running around. He twitched as a squeal pierced the air and his sensitive ears. He glanced over his shoulder, and then paled. At least fifty feet behind him stood the Silver Elite Fan Club, complete with squealing fan girls. He twitched, restraining himself from breaking out into a full mako enhanced run, and instead continued onward, his steps quicker than before. He could hear them following him and quickened his pace a little bit more, causing his hair to trail behind him and his fan club to break into a trot to keep up.

_"Oh for Shiva's sake, everyone knows I'm gay, but they still persist!" _He thought as he passed the Fountain. He continued, trying his best to not show fear in the face of the rabid beasts known as fan girls, hand clenching Masamunes' hilt. He was just about to round a corner that would prove as a short cut to ShinRa Tower when something or someone blocked his path. He blinked, catlike green eyes narrowing on the woman in front of him as she blushed and scuffed her foot on the ground. He tried to pass her by, but she stepped in his path again. He was sweating, he couldn't hurt these people, even if they chased him with hand cuffs and whips, he couldn't do anything to defend himself!

"Hi." said the woman as she blushed. Sephiroth raised his gaze to the heavens and mouthed 'why?' before lowering his gaze back to the woman.

"Excuse me miss." he said as he tried to pass, his way was blocked by the exact same woman...or not...He stared incredulously at the two women. Twins? He gulped as they giggled at his surprised look.

"My name is Shizu, and this is my twin sister Kizu, *we're your biggest fans!*" they ended in unison. Sephiroth twitched, legs bending slightly to jump over the crazy twins from hell if he had to. The twins suddenly moved forward, moving to latch onto his arms. That did it; before they could take another step further he turned on his heel and booked it. He was a silver and green streak as he hurtled over the fountain and disappeared down a flight of stairs and down to the train platform, twins and fan club hot on his heels. He didn't bother boarding the train, as it was full of people who would instantly recognize him, and instead jumped onto its roof. He turned and sat, crossing his legs as the train began to move. He smirked smugly at the crazy fangirls as they watched him from the platform. He gave them a wave as he disappeared around the corner on top of the train.

Ten minutes later Sephiroth hopped off of the train, feet landing on the dirt ground without a sound. He looked around at the wide area he found himself, and then noticed a sign that pointed in front of him labeled 'Wall Market'. He blinked, and then shrugged. He had been down here many times before on business, but he had never stopped by for pleasure. So he decided he'd look around for a while, see if anything interested him in the market.

And indeed something did interest him when he entered the market through the large gate. A predatory smirk slid onto his lips as he stepped into the shadows, stalking his prey. His target was oblivious to him as he slipped from shadow to shadow, stalking in silence. He grinned, then struck, strong arms wrapped around his target as a hand moved to cover his mouth. He yanked his prey back into the shadows, mindful of the large sword that was attached to his preys back.

"So this is where you disappeared to." he said as he dropped his head to nuzzle the side of his preys head.

"Sephiroth? What the hell are you doing down here?" Sephiroth snorted.

"Hiding." He answered. He slipped his fingers into the blonds back pocket, pulling out the keycard to their apartment. "And to get this, seems as I found you." he said as he kissed the side of the 2nd Class SOLIDER's head. Cloud snorted.

"You lost yours again, didn't you?" he asked. Sephiroth frowned, arms not removing from around the blond's waist.

"Again? What do you mean again?" He asked. Cloud rolled his eyes and slapped the arms holding him hostage away, stepping back out into the lights of Wall Market.

"You're always loosing it." He said. Sephiroth sputtered.

"I've never-"

"I bet you anything you like," Said the blond as he stepped forward and shoved the General back into the wall behind them. "That it's on the bench in the bathroom, where you left it last night." He said as he poked the General's chest. Sephiroth blinked, thinking back. A red tint dusted his cheeks.

"Ah, indeed, I remember now." he said, remembering that yes, he had taken it out of his pocket when he'd stripped for a shower. Cloud nodded.

"You should remember Seph, I know these things." He said with a smirk. Sephiroth snorted.

"Ok Sherlock, then where's that bottle of Dumb Apple Cider that was in the cupboard?" He asked. Cloud snorted.

"Genesis snuck in with his sticky fingers, that's where it went." he said. Sephiroth frowned, silver brows scrunching up as he thought. Ok, that did sound like Genesis...but...oh whatever.

"Either way, all that aside." he tugged on the blonds sword harness. "You're coming with me." he said as he tried to lead the blond out of Wall Market. Cloud rolled his eyes and slapped the hand away.

"No, I'm not; I have patrol down here for another two hours." He said as he moved to turn and go back to said duty. Sephiroth did something shockingly close to pouting, but no one saw. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his PHS, clicking a few buttons for a moment. Another moment followed and a beep signaled a reply. He smirked, then hurried after Cloud before he could disappear into the crowds. He grabbed the blonds hand and dragged him back towards the gate.

"Not anymore you don't." he said. Cloud sighed in exasperation.

"Sephiroth I-"

"Lazard just gave you the rest of the day off." The General interrupted as he dragged the blond towards the train platform. Cloud sputtered.

"Seph, you can't just-"

"Ah, but I can, I am the General after all." He stopped and pulled Cloud so he could wrap his arm around his waist and walk with him at his side. "And you are one of _my _SOLDIER's, so what I say goes." He said with a smirk. Cloud blinked, and then sighed in defeat. He allowed himself to be led by his General, then raised a brow at his attire.

"Are you off duty?" he asked. Sephiroth shook his head.

"No. I've just had one hell of a shitty day, went through two changes of clothing because of it." He answered. Cloud smirked.

"Two changes? What happened?" He asked. Sephiroth scowled as he walked with the blond at his side.

"A few Thirds were chasing another through the mess hall, he collided into me carrying a food tray, you can guess what I was wearing after that." He said sourly. Cloud chuckled.

"Mystery meat?" he asked in amusement. Sephiroth shook his head.

"It's Thursday." He said. Cloud nodded.

"Ah, pasta then." He said, then snorted and chuckled again. Sephiroth twitched. "Anything else?" The blond asked. Sephiroth snorted.

"Computer died, fire sprinklers turned on in my office." he said. Cloud was shaking with suppressed laughter at his side. Sephiroth twitched again.

"Did the water kill the computer, or did you?" He asked. Sephiroth huffed, hand fingering Masamune. Cloud noticed, and guessed the answer with a shake of the head.

"Then the elevator tried to kill me." the General said as he eyed the train with distaste. Without a thought he jumped, taking Cloud with him and landed both of them on the trains' roof again. Cloud raised a brow at him.

"I thought you were out of this habit." he said. Sephiroth shrugged and sat down, pulling the blond into his lap after he removed his sword. "Wait, the elevator tried to kill you? Do explain." Cloud said as he settled himself in his lovers lap as the train started to move, both ignoring the odd looks they were earning themselves.

"It stopped while I was in it. I called maintenance and they said the cables were tangled." He said. Cloud looked at him over his shoulder.

"That's actually quite dangerous." he said seriously. Sephiroth nodded.

"I found that out the hard way. I did the one thing you told me not to do in that sort of situation." He said. Cloud snorted.

"I won't say I told you so." He said. Sephiroth snorted.

"The whole damn thing fell out from under me for about six floors before it stopped. I nearly strangled the maintenance crew." He said as he and Cloud absently ducked under a low hanging light. The two of them had done this enough to know every single low point, so they knew when to duck without even watching, Zack came with them sometimes, just for kicks. He always ended up getting hit by that one light at the corner that he and Cloud ducked under with ease. It was entertaining really, watching the puppy jump, duck and flatten himself on the train while they moved like pros to avoid things. They didn't even need to watch where they were going anymore really. First few times they both nearly decapitated themselves though...

**~ShinRa Tower, Sephiroth and Cloud's shared living quarters~**

When Sephiroth finally entered their apartment, the first thing he did was kick off the uncomfortable trainers he had been wearing as he made his way towards the living room to kick back and relax, and more than likely coax Cloud into something...naughty. He had it all planned, until he stubbed his toe rather painfully on the coffee table and tripped over, landing face first onto the tiled floor of the living room and nearly breaking his nose on impact. He let loose a string of colorful remarks even as Cloud leaned over the back of the couch and blinked owlishly at him.

"Er, Seph, what just happened?" He asked, though amusement was poorly hidden in his voice. Sephiroth grumbled as he pushed himself up and sat on the couch, rubbing his now throbbing toe with one hand and holding his not-broken-but-still-sore nose.

"I stubbed my damn toe and fell over, what does it look like?" he snapped without venom as he sniffed. Cloud blinked at him again, then grinned.

"You really are having a horrible day." He said. Sephiroth scowled at the TV remote on the table.

"No kidding." he replied tartly as he lowered his abused foot back to the floor and leaned forward to grab the TV remote. His brow began twitching uncontrollably as the bottom fell out as well as the batteries, which scattered on the floor, one going under the couch he was on. His teeth ground together audibly as his grip tightened on the plastic remote, but before he could crush it Cloud swooped down and snatched it from his now flexing hand.

"Ok, calm down, no need to go destroying furniture." He said quickly as he set the remote on the table once again and sat himself in the twitching General's lap in an attempt to distract him. Sephiroth merely leaned back against the couch in silence as he wrapped an arm around the blonds' waist and pulled him back with him.

"If this keeps up, I'm going to go insane and do something terrible." He stated as he glared at the ceiling. Cloud snorted in his lap.

"No you won't, because I'll be around to slap some sense back into you." He said. Sephiroth hummed and rubbed his eyes with his free hand, the one that wasn't currently in Cloud's back pocket.

"I need a vacation." he suddenly stated as he dropped his hand. Cloud nodded.

"Yes, you do, but you can't yet." He said, disappointment written on both of their faces. They sat like that for a moment longer, before Cloud's eyes lit up. "I have an idea." With that, he extracted himself from his lovers lap and darted off towards the bathroom, leaving Sephiroth to sigh mournfully at his now empty lap.

The sound of a faucet being turned on alerted him to where Cloud had bounced off to, and he frowned in confusion. What was he up to? He decided to satisfy his curiosity and stood slowly, lest he break something else or trip over again and made his way to the bathroom in their master bedroom. When he stood in the doorway of the bathroom he was met with something that most definitely improved his day.

The bath was filled with warm water and strawberry scented bubbles, but that wasn't the best part, no that was the very sexy sight of his younger lover stripping off to get in the tub.

When he was fully exposed, Cloud turned around to grace him with a coy smile. "Like my idea?" He asked, sitting on the edge of the tub to run his fingers through the bubbles and water. Sephiroth swallowed, fighting down the ridiculous grin that was threatening to split his face.

"Very much. Love it in fact, best idea I've heard all day." He said, catlike green eyes zeroing in on the expanse of creamy skin that he hadn't seen for far too long. He was ShinRa's only General, so obviously he was very busy most of the time, which, unfortunately left him with very little free time. Time he usually spent either catching up on lost sleep, or ravishing 2nd Class Cloud Strife.

Speaking of the blond, Sephiroth followed the movements of Cloud's limbs as he stood from the tub and made his way towards him, swaying his hips slightly as he approached. Sephiroth felt his pants tighten, and he saw the corner of Cloud's lips turn up slightly.

"You are wearing far too many clothes, _General_." The blond purred as he slipped a warm hand under the silverettes shirt, the motion causing him to shudder. Sephiroth agreed wholeheartedly, and helped Cloud remove his shirt, where it was tossed carelessly onto the floor by the toilet. He allowed the 2nd Class to unbuckle his pants, and kicked them off when they hit his ankles. Unfortunately, only one leg came free, the other decided to stay around his ankle, causing him to stumble sideways and straight into the tub, dragging Cloud with him. Water and bubbles splashed against the tiled floor while two pairs of legs flailed in the air for a moment, before a silver hair popped out of the mass of bubbles and water to splutter, quickly followed by a mass of blond.

Silenced reigned for a long moment, the only sound being the water on the floor dripping down into the drain in the center of the bathroom.

First Sephiroth cursed colorfully, and then Cloud burst out laughing.

Sephiroth shifted and kicked his pants off, his underwear following after much wiggling, Cloud still howling with laughter all the while. Pink tinged the General's cheeks as he flicked his silver hair from his face, bubbles floating down from the motion. "It sounded like a good idea at the time." He grumbled, pulling his legs all the way into the large tub while simultaneously maneuvering a shaking blond to rest comfortably on his lap once more.

After a moment, Cloud's laughter faded to the occasional giggle, before ceasing completely. He shifted until his knees were on either side of Sephiroth's thighs, straddling him.

"And it is a good idea." He assured, wiping some bubbles from Sephiroth's brow. "We were getting in anyway, this way was just quicker." He said, leaning down to rest on the General's broad chest. Sephiroth snorted.

"Don't forget messier." He grumbled, glaring at the fluffy white puddles on the floor. Cloud hummed and ran a hand down the silverettes side, smiling when it elicited a shudder.

"We'll clean it up later." He declared, before abruptly grinding his hips into Sephiroth's, causing the unprepared SOLDIER to gasp in surprise.

**(((Lemon has been removed to adhere to FFdotnet's overbearing paranoia. All of my fics have been edited in this manner, and if you wish to read them, go to ArchiveOfOurOwn dot com where they can be free to turn people on and give raging fans nosebleeds! I should be under the same name, probably minus the hyphen, I always forget XD I do apologise for the annoying inconvenience, just imagine how I feel :L)))**

They stayed like that for a few moments, both regaining their breath in silence. Before finally Sephiroth managed to speak.

"Definitely the best idea I've heard all day." He said, pressing a sweet kiss between Cloud's brows. "It's just a damn shame it has to end." Cloud laughed lightly.

"The waters still warm you know..." He trailed off suggestively before running his hands down Sephiroth's hard chest to massage his stomach. "And we still have an hour or so until someone starts looking for us..."

Sephiroth grinned wolfishly.

. . .

. . .

**A/N Aaaaand done! You guys will NOT BELIEVE how long this has been sitting in my junk folder. I ran out of mojo when I started writing it, so I just dumped it. Then I got inspiration for more, and voila! Here it is! Revived and super hot! :) REVIEW PLEASE!**

*** He's referring to Murphy's Law. Duh... :)**


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